Rapport
Getting your message across
The meaning of your communication is the response it gets!
Rapport is being able to connect with an ‘other’ and engage with them in the natural ‘dance’ that can happen when two or more people meet.
- Is meeting the other person in their ‘map of the world’
- Is matching the way you communicate to the way they take in information
- Increases the likelihood that the message you send will be the one they receive
- Promotes trust and depth of relationship.
When you begin to pay attention to how you meet another person and how you interact with them, you can begin to refine your rapport skills and thus enhance the communication and relationship with them
So what actually is communication:-
55% BODY LANGUAGE and only 7% words !
How ? Surely, communication happens when we talk to each other.
- Is meeting the other person in their ‘map of the world’
- Is matching the way you communicate to the way they take in information
- Increases the likelihood that the message you send will be the one they receive
- Promotes trust and depth of relationship.
When you begin to pay attention to how you meet another person and how you interact with them, you can begin to refine your rapport skills and thus enhance the communication and relationship with them
So what actually is communication:-
55% BODY LANGUAGE and only 7% words !
How ? Surely, communication happens when we talk to each other.
So what happens ?
What happens is that whenever we are in the presence of another person we are communicating.
This means... That as long as we are there we are communicating - with our body language, even if we do not open our mouth. And of course the client is communicating too!
Using a mixture of body language and voice quality - to match or mismatch the other person - says more than the words that we use !
What happens is that whenever we are in the presence of another person we are communicating.
This means... That as long as we are there we are communicating - with our body language, even if we do not open our mouth. And of course the client is communicating too!
Using a mixture of body language and voice quality - to match or mismatch the other person - says more than the words that we use !
An Example:
Ever watched a couple having dinner in a restaurant or a drink together in a pub or bar? You can tell when they are getting on well. As one leans forward, so the other does the same. As one throws back their head to laugh at a joke so the other throws their head back in a complementary fashion.
The timing of their respective contributions seems to make the conversation flow and, if you were near enough you would be able to hear that their voice tone and breathing rate are also matching. If they are newly formed friends or lovers they will probably be exploring their beliefs and values and agreeing with each other about issues
that are important to both of them.
On the other hand, what about the couple who are not getting on. There may be long silences. They may interrupt each other, the one hardly seeming to notice what the other is saying. As one leans forward to make a point, the other may glance away at the clock or the door. This is a classic example of mismatching.
Ever watched a couple having dinner in a restaurant or a drink together in a pub or bar? You can tell when they are getting on well. As one leans forward, so the other does the same. As one throws back their head to laugh at a joke so the other throws their head back in a complementary fashion.
The timing of their respective contributions seems to make the conversation flow and, if you were near enough you would be able to hear that their voice tone and breathing rate are also matching. If they are newly formed friends or lovers they will probably be exploring their beliefs and values and agreeing with each other about issues
that are important to both of them.
On the other hand, what about the couple who are not getting on. There may be long silences. They may interrupt each other, the one hardly seeming to notice what the other is saying. As one leans forward to make a point, the other may glance away at the clock or the door. This is a classic example of mismatching.
We all do this ‘dance’ naturally. However, once you know you are doing it you can choose to change your behaviour to increase rapport between you and an another (colleague, client. partner, child, boss etc). Once you are ‘in rapport’ with someone it is much more likely that they will listen to you, describe their true feelings, even take your point of view if that is appropriate.
Matching/Pacing can be done with all/any of the following categories below
Posture
Gesture
Breathing
Language and Speech Patterns
Energy Level
Rhythm
Beliefs and Values
The word for staying in rapport with someone is PACING.
The NLP ‘rule of thumb’ about communication and influence is: -
PACE, PACE, PACE, LEAD……..
Matching/Pacing can be done with all/any of the following categories below
Posture Gesture Breathing Language and Speech Patterns Energy Level Rhythm Beliefs and ValuesThe word for staying in rapport with someone is PACING.
The NLP ‘rule of thumb’ about communication and influence is: -
PACE, PACE, PACE, LEAD……..
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